Updated: May 25
I don't know about you but I often find myself in such a whirl of ideas of possibilities that I don't know what to do. It's like there are all these beautiful options and I'm paralysed not being able to make a decision in case I miss out on something else. I'm now 43 years old and feeling a sense of urgency to grow up and do something with my life. But there are so many options, so many things to learn, see and do. I've spent my life learning and raising kids and making money where I can. Many times I've felt that I am really happy doing this thing, right now, whatever that has been. Lately though (like for the past 20 years), I've been wondering what can I do with the rest of my life that will make a positive difference in the world. But I've had other thoughts clouding in on that. Things like, "I've spent a great deal of time giving to others. My time, my skills, my energy, for free" and "I would like to be able to give more to my family and myself. and I would like some financial returns so I can build my husband a more comfortable home". I have a vet degree, a PhD, 7 amazing children, a little bit of land (I would like a much bigger bit of land), experience at facilitating discussion groups, managing data, analysing farm records, managing people, amazing connections int he deer industry. So many things to be grateful for that could lead to great things... and I feel most comfortable and 'smiling deeply' when I've got my hands on an animal or in the soil. Currently I'm studying soil conservation, nutrient budgeting using overseer and permaculture design. All in the hope that it will lead to something that is fulfilling, profitable and making a real contribution to the world. I watch country calendar awed by peoples ability to follow a single passion and create stunning businesses. But I couldn't grow vegetables all day, or commit my life to bees, or trees, or any one thing really. What if I miss out on other possibilities? I want to do all of these things without having time to commit to any of them fully. So I am surfing on a wave of possibilities, finding myself plunged down, swirled around in some many different directions, wondering which way is up?